Optimum behavior of a productive techie

How to optimize your behavior to become a productive techie?

No emails, no trouble – If you don’t listen to my advice you will end up being buried under a billion emails, most of them unread by the end of this year. Emails are infectious. The biggest hindrance to a techie’s productivity, is emails. As long as you can stick to messages confined to the subject area like the one below, it is fine. But do not go beyond that and don’t you touch the body! Get independence from your emails, be a loud and shameless conversationalist. Be a caveman, do not ping, do not email, just go talk to the person next to you.

To: Preeya.Raj@XXX.com Subject: Code’s working, dude. Yay Peanuts at my desk

Walk like quick-silver – Fly, Fly to the restroom and back, Fly to the printer and back, Just fly, never walk. Redefine god speed and make time for C++.

Do not carry a bag – One of the most important rules. Never carry a bag/ purse/ lunch bag to work. There are hawks in the workplace who monitor you meaninglessly and with a weird half-smile ask "Leaving early eh? eh? No work eh?". Just do not give scope for such hawks to thrive, they hinder with your productive thoughts. Why should people know when you come and when you go as long as the work gets done? Right?  

Center social life on an electronic screen – Reprogram your schedule in such a way that the basic activities such as exercising, eating and socializing revolves around these flashy electronic screens.

Read plenty of random stuff except emails - Research states that people who read random stuff during work-time are 5 times more productive than those who don’t.

Be Brute – Again, reiterating the fact that caveman behavior best suits a techie. Be clear and precise about your decision. Say ‘No’ quickly, say ‘Yes’ even more quickly and make sure your ‘YES” is heard throughout the organization. Believe in yourself. Just be as brute as you can.

P.S: Adherents, please comment with a hi-five! If you do not agree with these, your smug criticism is most welcome.